© Jo Hewitt THE TEAL MANGO, 2013
A year ago last week I was in the emergency room. A year ago this week I had heart surgery to remove a blockage. A year ago I saw my deceased mother in law smiling at me in my passage as my soul returned to my body, to this realm. A year ago this Saturday I was out of the hospital and spent the evening surrounded by family celebrating my daughter’s birthday.
I awoke this day, Today. Today I awoke. I transitioned from the realm of sleep to consciousness; the world of my being transitioned from night to day. I awoke to the pains that are my constant companion. I awoke to my dog scrunched next to me and to her barrage of kisses once she sees that I am again awake, here for another day. When I grimace from pain, I try to remember to smile. I want my day, my Today, to begin with a positive energy.
I had a little more time today; I didn’t have to be at work as early. This morning’s splurge was coffee with whipped cream and cardamon leisurely enjoyed on my patio with the unfolding morning. I had a little more time Today. Two and a half years ago I had an internal cardiac device implanted. It keeps my heart beating. That and last year’s surgery have given me a little more time. I have had a little more time with my children, a little more time with my grandson Asher. That “little more time” has allowed me to see my granddaughter Parisa. That “little more time” allowed me to be at my mother’s side, to comfort her and to comfort myself during her death-dying and passing.
The air was cool, the sky was blue this morning. To me it was perfect. I drank it in as I sipped my coffee. The subtile changes in the sky and air. The slight breeze through the leaves. Doors closing, gates clanging, cars starting.The garbage truck making it’s rounds. Police sirens and fire sirens. The hum of traffic on the highway. The SSB chasing and catching bumble bees. The glimmering of ripening peaches in the morning sun. The chirping and singing of birds. The melancholy coo of the Mourning Dove, the Morning Dove. My soul sighs with its melody.
The morning was clear. My thoughts and my awareness are clear. It is always Today. I am grateful I have more time; I have more Today.
Dove morning dawned clear